


Final Thoughts

by Rabid-Bunny (rabid_bunny)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: M/M, Not death but kinda death?, SebaCiel - Freeform, Tumblr, nothing at all, prompt, rabid-bunny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7175651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabid_bunny/pseuds/Rabid-Bunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The final thoughts of the two while in the midst of losing the most precious thing to themselves: eachother</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nothing at All

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt given on tumblr by anon. Ciel protecting Sebastian from a deadly strike by Undertaker. Enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven while reading for full effect. Enjoy~

## ‘Nothing at all’

_Bright glowing sunshine. Fresh springtime grass flowing in the wind. The scent of roses twisted around everyone’s noses. A flawless afternoon if one ever existed._

_This was the day my body was bathed in blood. My own, of course._

“YOUNG MASTER!”

_Ah. That voice. How pained and yet a pleasure to anyone’s ears that it befalls. Mine being no exception._

“Young master! Wake up!”

_Although I have never seen such a beautiful afternoon, I have never felt so cold. The icy tendrils of death are cascading over every inch of my body. I hear you running towards me, I feel the red liquid of my own life spilling around me, tangling in my hair, pooling under my neatly cut nails. It looks as if your primping of me has gone to waste._

“Keep your eyes open! Open your eyes, my Lord!”

_I never thought the Undertaker would go as far as he did. Hah, what irony though, wouldn’t you say? Him coming along and claiming he wanted to save **me** , save **my** soul, as if he’d had a say in my personal affairs. Well now the tables have turned, for he is the one who took it away. My soul, that is. Away from me._

_And away from you._

“Young master! I’ve got you now, so stay with me, hold on!”

_It is his fault and my own, I suppose. Kill my demon? Tch, who would dare even try such a thing? Do you not know noblemen at all? How much pride they put into their own belongings, their trophies? Their own toys? If the Undertaker actually believed I would stand aside while he attempted to rid of my own prized possession, it would’ve done him good to think again. I am as selfish as any other wretched human being on this planet. I am not so noble to stand down and watch you kill what belongs to me. No. If anyone is to kill him, it will be me, with my own hands._

“Young master! Breathe!”

_And if anyone is ever to try, I will give my life. Because I am nothing more than a selfish, self absorbed Lord that puts his own self-proclaimed deities before himself._

“My Lord, I will stop the bleeding but you must stay awake, open your eyes!”

_Ah.. but you did. You did try, Undertaker. You failed and you fled. But me? I won. I refuse to take a loss. As promised, the pawns have indeed piled up at the foot of my throne._

_Little did I know I would be one of them._

“My Lord!”

_Butler.. I can feel it now. I can feel the warmth of your touch, the cradle of your arms, the laces on your lips. My blood may be cold but I am on fire in your grasp. To be bloody honest, I am a liar. It only dawns on me when I feel you tear my shirt open, press on the deep wound at my chest with gloved hands. I am a liar._

“I will stop the blood, you must fight it, my Lord!”

_Yes. I have lied. I have lived every second of my life from the moment you were spawned before me to a few moments ago for myself. I have been self-absorbed and indulgent in the darkest of nights, comforted by my own glory. And now, as my heart slows, I feel the opposite of what I’ve ever hoped for._

_I feel warm._

_I see.. I am the worst. My comfort comes from a demon. A truly evil demon, from the depths of hell. I am the worst because within this dark onyx tipped grasp is where I have found my true peace._

_And my utter chaos._

_I have no mind to put my life on the line for anyone. But this is different.._

“Young master, your heart-!”

_Different.. because, I have realized it. Have you realized it as well?_

“Keep beating, keep your heart beating!”

_That if I do not have you…_

“Young Master!”

_I have nothing at all…_

“ **CIEL!** ”

_Sebastian._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Sebastian's POV


	2. Watching You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to Clair de Lune by Debussy while reading for full effect. Enjoy~

## ‘Watching You’  


_Timeliness, adequacy and loyalty. These specifications are what make a true butler worth his salt. Though with my master, a dab of unending patience does not fall short on a day to day basis. I keep all of these in mind, as it is two thirty-five in the afternoon. Chocolate custard, topped with a mildly frothed whipped-cream, sprinkled with powdered sugar, each serving in a dish the size of my young master’s palm. A perfect fix for his sweet tooth to go along side with his afternoon tea, a lightly steeped Assam imported straight from East India. A delicate palate such as his deserves only the best, myself being here to provide him with such. But alas…_

_The tea has gone cold._

_The pudding, splayed across the grass next to the broken glass shards of its dish, the gleam of the sun reflecting brightly off of the shards as they are engulfed by another thick liquid around them. Another color._

_Red._

“YOUNG MASTER”

_The young master’s blood._

“Young master-!”

_The specifications of a true butler.._

“-wake up!”

_I have followed them all.. but how wrong I was._

_I watched them. I watched those dual colored eyes. You were never one to be amused, unless it was of course something of dark humor. That youthful gaze turned to steel, never feeling emotion, never wavering from your mission at hand. But…_

_I saw them._

_I saw those beautiful eyes grow wide. I saw them call my name. I saw them gleam with agony and something foreign._

_I saw them look at me…_

_As I watched them close._

“Keep your eyes open!”

_And as I ran to you from afar, as I nearly lost myself within the inhuman amount of energy it took me to eliminate the distance between us, I was not sure if I was screaming out to you because of your spilling life.._

“Open your eyes, My Lord!”

_…or if it was because I wanted that obscure gaze to befall me once more._

_Just one.._

“Young master!”

_Last.._

“I’ve got you now, so stay with me!”

_Time._

“Hold on!”

_My gloves are stained with the life that rightfully belongs to me. Stained with every sin you have committed, with every life you have taken, with every bit of forthcoming you expected._

_My gloves are stained with my own misery._

“Young Master!”

_But my soul is stained with you._

“Breathe!”

_You feel so fragile in my grasp. A porcelain doll, cheeks washed of color, feathery eyelashes resting upon them, lips parted with a single drop of blood cascades out of the corner of your mouth to trail down your angelic face._

_I have never seen anything so painfully beautiful. Nothing, except for that look you gave me._

_And now I am in fear… Your beauty is so intoxicatingly breathtaking, from the creaminess of your skin to the wickedness of your soul, I am in fear…_

“My lord-“

_..that I will never see anything like it again._

“-I will stop the bleeding but you must stay awake!”

_Ah, I see. This is what it has come to. I can hear myself now.. the shakiness in my voice. The desperation in my fingertips. The fear in my core._

_I am an excuse for a demon._

_But worse, I am an excuse for a butler._

_An excuse for the rightful captor of your soul._

_Years go by as I bite my gloves of, pressing harder onto the gushing wound at your chest. I tear your shirt open, pressing my exposed hands upon your thin frame, trying to hold you together. Myself together. Scooping you up against my chest and trying to hold.._

_us together._

_Your breaths are shallow. Your pulse is slowing. My world is crumbling._

_My fear is growing._

_My eyes are rimmed with red, something that is new to me as well. Human emotion will never get the best of me. Human’s feel with their hearts and act on impulse. I have not the time for such bothersome distractions._

_However… I am a demon._

_I feel to the darkest core of my damned soul._

_That’s why I will grip you tighter.. because I, too, am selfish, young master. I, too, have thought of only myself. Staying by your side, enjoying every moment of serving you and wishing it’d never end.. I have turned out to be.._

_One hell of a selfish butler._

_So please. For my own sake. For my own selfish desire-_

“Open your eyes!”

_The boy that called to me in the darkest of night terrors, the one that found me in the pits of his own hell. The king of his own universe. Here you lie, in the arms of your savior._

_In the arms of a demon._

_You are so small. What a tiny master I serve._

_I close my eyes, gripping onto you and soaking my own uniform through with your blood. The liquid quickly saturates my linens and I can feel it drip down my chest, sliding right over my heart, past the Phantomhive pin of the head butler, past my sheathed pocket watch that reminds me of the mere moments that have gone by._

_How precious they are._

_Ah. How silly I have been. I have forgotten that today’s schedule was to go according to that of a special event’s, moving all meetings, lessons and day breaks earlier by two hours._

“Young master, your heart-!”

_I see. How foolish. Two thirty-five in the afternoon, huh? My sincerest apologies, my Lord, but I am afraid that according to today’s schedule…_

_Today’s tea has been prepared a bit late._

“Keep beating-!”

_Timeliness, adequacy and loyalty. These specifications are what make a true butler worth his salt. Though with my master, a dab of unending patience does not fall short on a day to day basis._

_However, a demon does not have such rules. There are only two things expected of us. To exist._

_And to consume._

_It seems I have failed to fully fulfill either of my positions by your side._

_The wind blows my hair out of my face but I pay no attention to the world surrounding me. I never paid attention to it and I will not start now. Hell is my home but my world is here in my arms._

_Gasping._

_Fading._

_Spilling._

_Ending._

_“Keep your heart beating!”_

_Young master. Have I ever told you before? The real reason why I never sleep. I have enjoyed it many times before, a rest every now and again with a previous contractor is quite the treat. On a rainy evening, you stare up at me in the shirt of mine you have stolen as a nightgown to ask why it is I never rest in the wondrous quarters you have gifted me with._

_I smirk as you suck your teeth, answering before I get the chance to tell me it is because I ‘am a demon’. But how wrong that was._

_It was never because I never needed it._

_Nor because I never wanted it._

_The reason I never slept.._

“Young master!”

_..is because every night, in the darkest corners of your quarters, the warmest shadows of your heart.._

“ **CIEL**!”

_I was far too busy.._

_watching you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin.
> 
> If you did not read this while listening to the song, I suggest reading it again. It truly gives a very powerful feel to the story, I also wrote it while listening to this song. Then hop over to my tumblr to let me know how it felt or drop a comment. Words are the beauty of the mind, music is the outlet of the soul~ Thank you for reading~


End file.
